This, love

I love you more from far away
Distant enough not to absorb you
Knowing if it is my pain
or just proximity to a wound
Not steering my dreams
around your silence

I love you more close up
Near enough to never lose you
Where my gills breathe
your salted losses
My wings revere
your laughter

I love you most just here
Between this moment’s
crest and trough
Nourishing our oceanity
Here we are
always enough

The tilting of time

I often think
about depression
and anxiety
and the sensation of time
The feeling that
at some point
your mind tilted the future
And now
it presses down
on your chest
the whole lot of it
all at once
and my god
it’s no wonder
you cannot breathe
But the thing
to try and see
and it will be hard
there is no doubt
is that you don’t
have to do it
all at once
The future
is just
a lungful
at a time
and out
and out
You couldn’t breathe
it all at once
no matter how much
you wanted to
no matter how much
you try
It won’t feel easy
tilting your mind back
to just a lungful
of the future
But the thing
about life is
It’s very much
like breathing
the ups and downs
are the way
that it works